Sex Therapy
We’re wired for pleasure and connection.
Sexuality and intimate relationships are important parts of life. Grief and trauma can steal away the joy that’s here to be experienced in this life. It’s a good thing that good therapy can help you get it back.
At SPARK, we offer sex therapy that is pleasure-centered, sex-positive, and integrated into the big picture of your life. We can help you create the sex life you’ve always wanted.
What happens in sex therapy?
We talk. About all sorts of things. You’ll get good suggestions but sex therapy offers a lot more than tips and tricks. We help people know themselves better, know their partners better, and learn how to resolve problems that have kept them from a fun, joyful experience of sexuality. Whether you need help recovering from traumatic experiences, want to explore your perspectives and values around sex, dealing with life changes or a medical crisis, if you want help improving your experience of sexuality and intimacy, a good sex therapist can probably help.
It’s all in a day’s work!
Sex therapists treat a wide variety of sexuality problems and each have their own unique specialties. Generally speaking we treat desire, arousal, and orgasm problems as well as the relationships in which these problems exist. Sexual problems can take quite a toll on someone’s self image and on their relationships. Reworking people’s relationships with desire, pleasure, and vulnerability, restoring meaningful connections, guiding people into intimacy and connection, confidently handling complex dynamics that lead couples to the brink of divorce...that and so much more is all in a day’s work!
What is the process of sex therapy?
Assessment
We start with a thorough assessment of the problem you want to address to get an understanding of why it’s happening and what’s keeping it from getting better. We talk about the past, the present, and the future in these sessions. We’ll meet individually and you’ll have a session together if you’re in a relationship. Don’t worry if you’re not…some of the best sex therapy can happen when people are single.
Feedback
After a few meetings, you’ll have a feedback session with your sex therapist where you’ll hear about her understanding of the problem and find out what suggestions she has for how to meet the goals you identified during the Assessment sessions. Suggestions might include individual, couples, or sex therapy at SPARK, and they’ll also likely involve resources outside of SPARK. It takes a village, after all.
Treatment
If we’ve decided to work together, off we go! We’ll meet virtually or in the office to work through the treatment plan we created. Typically people have sessions 2-3 times per month at first. Since most of the work of sex therapy happens between sessions, people need time in between meetings to ‘be in the lab’. You can reach out for support or clarification in between sessions when you need to.
Aftercare
Once your treatment goals have been met, we put the finishing touches on a plan to keep you on track once therapy ends. If you ever hit a bump in the road or want to check in about something – and most people do at some point – you’re welcome back with a quick click or two on the scheduling app. There’s no ‘starting over’. We just pick up wherever you are and help get things back on track.
Our Holistic Approach
— A calming, confidential environment where honest discussions about sexuality take place.
— Respect for deeply held beliefs about sexuality and relationships, and therapy that works within a client’s personal value system.
— Sexuality education that fills in gaps in knowledge and empowers clients to improve their sexual comfort, function, and pleasure.
Medical
Medical issues like injury, an illness, and the normal changes caused by aging can all have an impact on sex. Often, consulting with treating physicians and other healthcare professionals is a useful part of developing an accurate understanding of a sexual problem. A team approach works great for treating sexual problems.
Emotional
Mental health concerns like depression, anxiety, obsessiveness, grief, body image issues, and traumatic experiences can all have an impact on someone’s experience of sexuality. The most effective interventions in sex therapy will be strengths-based and will take into account someone’s emotional landscape.
Relational
The dynamics in a relationship, meaning how people impact each other, can help or hinder progress with treating a sexual dysfunction. Often partners need to be involved in therapy together. Even if it seems clear that the problem ‘belongs’ to one partner or the other, usually the solution belongs to everyone involved.
Cultural
Religion, social norms, and intergenerational family systems are all cultural factors that influence sexuality. In particular, they all influence the development of someone’s personal sexual value system. Sex therapists need to have an understanding of these influences and values in order to be helpful to our clients.
Lifestyle
Not getting enough sleep or exercise, being under a great deal of stress, having a to-do list a mile long are all things that can make it difficult to prioritize sex and pleasure. We need to look at what’s going on outside the bedroom because pretty often, it’s impacting what’s going on inside the bedroom.
FAQ
- Is everything I share in sex therapy confidential?
Confidentiality is a cornerstone of therapy and we think it’s particularly important in sex therapy. We take confidentiality very seriously and yes, what you share is protected by laws about confidentiality in healthcare. There are some exceptions to those rules when dealing with things like child abuse, elder abuse, or the intent to harm people. We will go over the limits to confidentiality before your therapy begins so you’re fully informed about how that works.
- Can you accommodate clients who have special privacy considerations?
Yes. Privacy is a special concern for anyone in sex therapy, but perhaps because of their role in the community or what they’re coming to therapy to address, sometimes our clients have special reasons to need additional privacy in their treatment. If that’s the case, let’s talk about it. We’ve accommodated such needs successfully in the past.
- What are the sex therapy specialties at SPARK?
SPARK is a general sex therapy practice, meaning we treat a broad spectrum of sexuality-related concerns. In particular, at SPARK we have special interest and training in erection anxiety / erectile dysfunction, sexual pain disorders, reclaiming sexuality after trauma, exploring kink and creative sexual expression, using sexuality for personal and spiritual growth, navigating ethical non-monogamy, affair recovery / healing from intimate betrayal, and working with sexual secrets / non-integrated aspects of sexuality.
- Do I need to be in a relationship to see a sex therapist?
No, you don’t need to be in a relationship to see a sex therapist. Some of the best sex therapy can happen when clients aren’t in a relationship – it’s like training in the off-season!
- What is sex therapy like?
It’s like regular therapy, only we talk more specifically and directly about sex than most people do in regular therapy. No sexual touch happens in sex therapy sessions. Sex therapists are licensed mental health professionals who know how to do general counseling and intensive psychotherapy with clients, and in addition to that, we’ve got extensive training in sexuality. This extra training makes us useful for people who want to make changes in how they experience their sexuality. We tend to be sex nerds – people who have a deep intellectual curiosity and emotional spaciousness about all things sexual – which works out well for our clients!
- What are your fees?
Our standard hourly rate is $250 for all clinical services. We offer group therapy and ketamine-assisted psychotherapy services at a lower rate. Details about fees can be discussed during an initial consultation.
- Do you accept insurance?
No, we don’t accept insurance. We understand that many people need or want to use insurance benefits for therapy, but at this time we aren’t able to offer that. Of course we can provide documentation as requested for out of network reimbursement or for HSA/FSA plans.
- What if cost is a barrier?
We recognize that therapy is expensive and that many people do not have money available for it, even when they really need help. To help with this, we offer reduced fee arrangements or payment plans for a large number of our clients. We can discuss those possibilities during our initial consultation, which is offered at no charge. If we aren’t able to accommodate your financial needs, we can make recommendations of other therapists who might be available at a lower rate.
- How long are people in therapy with you?
This varies from person to person and depends greatly on what you want to accomplish. If you are interested in brief, solution-focused therapy, you’re in the right place. Sometimes a problem really can be solved in a session or two. In most cases, by two or three sessions we will have a good idea of what might be ahead for us. You have a right to be treated as efficiently and quickly as possible. If you’re interested in staying a while and doing longer term work, you’re in the right place for that, too. Therapy is definitely not one-size-fits-all at SPARK.
Ways To Get Started
Some problems can’t wait.
And some have waited long enough. If you think therapy might be a good idea, reach out and let’s talk about it.